About

Here at Crude Balloons, we are all about laughter, empathy, and compassion. Some say our balloons are "rude", and "crass". If bringing a "THIS PARTY IS SHIT" balloon to your late Aunt May's funeral is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Let's be real, these are balloons imprinted with curse words, and everyone's going to get a giggle out of them. As we all know, laughs ain't cheap, and you need to get them while you can. One day our sun will explode, wiping out the Earth as we know it. Humanities long line of achievements will all be for naught. Winnebagos? Gone. Pizza? Gone. Soft closing cabinet doors? Gone. Everything will be destroyed, leaving nothing but a trickle of space dust. 

Long before that ever happens, you will probably be dead. But before you die, what will you have to look back on? Memories. As you waste away in your hospital bed, unable to use the washroom without assistance, being force fed Jimmy Johns through a tube, you'll think of all the good times you had, all the times you laughed, cried, and pooped. 

And what makes people laugh? Balloons imprinted with swear words.